It recently dawned on me that we are reliant on screens as part of our daily life, and especially, our travel life.
It came as a shock – we only got an I-pad 9months ago! In that short time, the iPad (and an IPhone) had become our default form of entertainment.
It was a surprise, because we’d steadfastly resisted small screen technology for the first 5 years of Child #1’s life. She’d only had a few games on an old Smartphone and they hadn’t been in the least bit addictive.
Certainly they would watch kid’s television (just one channel) or DVDs for a short time each day… but it was being watched with their sibling and I could hear what was happening. (And we chose things that were educational).
We got the IPad for a 28 hour road trip (yes, it was a good decision). We downloaded many ‘educational apps’, bought some good quality movies and finally got the online kids TV app. After a few months I noticed that they weren’t really using the educational apps, mostly the fun/ easy ones… and 99% of the time were just watching movies or online kids television. Worse, Master 3.5 wouldn’t even watch the whole show; rather jump to the bits he liked.
They were watching the small screens in their bedrooms, in our reading nook, hunched over the screen and with headphones on. I had no idea what they were watching – and they were completely disconnected from humanity.
Yet, despite some concerns, my busy-ness as a mother let me allow them to do it. I’m not how many hours a day it was, some days 2 hours, some days more. WHY did I do this? In retrospect it just rolled over me like a massive wave… I am a busy mum (like everyone) and if I set the kids up on small screen technology I was guaranteed a full un-interrupted hour to do things. Computer work – and mopping floors/ toilet cleaning are both things that I utilised the IPad heavily for!
When you are travelling – it gives you peace of mind on buses and planes – as the kids are transfixed (and therefore quiet). You can converse with your significant other or look out the window. I kept telling myself that it was ‘smart’ to use these screens in order to manage our travelling.
So – Why am I writing this blog?
My gut feeling that we were too reliant on screens was justified when I read “21st Century Girls: How the Modern World is damaging our daughter and what we can do about it “by Sue Palmer.
Essentially it says that children that are exposed to a lot of technology (including television) at a young age have difficulty focusing.
When I realised that my son had some of the symptoms of the toxic childhood described in the book, it pulled me up in my tracks. I had to stop relying on technology as part of my parenting style.
Two days after this epiphany I had our first ‘Tech Free Sunday.” I didn’t think we could do it – I played more, and had to be more innovative when we were cooking. It was harder being a tech free mum, and I don’t at any stage judge other mothers for using technology, it makes your life so much easier.
So – because stating intent publically means you are more likely to do it – I am writing this blog. I think that a flight is an excellent time to try and go screen free – I am 100% available to them, with nothing to do except “my” stuff. It’s exciting and we should savour the experience.
Update! How did we go?
Very well! The trip to our destination was easily and happily screen free! The days we were away were EXTREMELY full and we walked around 10km a day. There was no down time and the kids didn’t even get a chance to jump on a screen. For the return flight, Mumma realised that she hadn’t really had an un-interrupted conversation with Grandpa and that it was both a perfect and appropriate time for Screens.
Going forward, we are intending to have a family meeting to set some ground rules for what days & times Small screens (and big screens – the TV) will be used.
An honest PostScript
My 3.5 year old was on the IPad for an hour so I could finish the final edits and pick photos for this article. On the flip side, in the time that we have had the IPad I’ve started a website and feel like I am fulfilling my personal dreams…
Practical notes and comments
Where we went wrong/ what we will change regarding the tablet/iPhone.
We offered a lot of choice.
We downloaded a lot – all free ones – and the kids would play them until they got to the paid section and mum said No. I did research which were the best (my kids didn’t like those ones) and instead of having a multitude of different ones on trial, I should have picked a well recommended one, bought the “all access” pass and said “that’s it – that’s what we have. Instead they had a go a lot of different ones. I assumed also, that an app was something that they could do mostly themselves. Actually, we should have considered it something we would do together; like a book or game.
They have the ABC for Kids and ABC Me iView Apps. Really bad idea. They are going to disappear soon.
Purchased movies and TV programs.
I need to find a way of stopping them having free access to this. These are all things that we have purchased and are educational – they are not ‘bad’ per se – but that they can pick up the iPad and watch them whenever they want is not.
- Set up expectations at the beginning of the flight
- Have a mental plan of what we are going to do – activities etc.
- If we do use it, do activities together (especially educational apps).
- Re think our daily routine so that we don’t fall to the default of small screens.
- On home days – follow the rules that I printed out from social media (can’t remember source) and subsequently put on the fridge (and am sharing here)
- Set a timer for watching things.